I have a boyhood memory of a Sunday afternoon, when my sister, Judy, and I decided to go exploring on our bicycles. A few puffy clouds lingered from a rainstorm the night before. Neglecting to tell Mom or Dad, we set off. There were several sandlots in the neighborhood, and we found a large one, and decided to play “island hopping.”
Numerous puddles dotted the lot, and we hopped from island to island as far as possible without getting our shoes wet. We’d been gone more than an hour, when we spotted Dad in his truck. He screeched to a halt and yelled, “You kids get home right now!”
Parking our bikes in the garage, we entered through the kitchen door, and there, coiled on top of Mom’s Singer sewing machine console, lay Dad’s hand-tooled leather belt.
Dad uttered the old sage, “This is going to hurt me more than you.” Banking on that, I whipped up some tears, and after a few straps the spanking stopped. He told us we were never to take off without saying where we were going, and we never did!
Still, I recall many more moments when my dad treated me with gentleness. He carried me on his shoulders, bought me coconut cream pie, taught me how to build furniture, barbeque a steak, and light a campfire. He taught me how to work hard under difficult conditions.
I believe gentleness ranks as one of the most impactful elements of Spiritual fruit, shining the image of Christ through believers so others will want to know Him.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law” (Galatians 5:22-23, NASB.)
However, I think I need to understand God’s severity before I truly appreciate His gentleness. There are several examples in the Bible, but one will suffice:
“This is what the Lord Almighty says: ‘I will punish the Amalekites for what they did to Israel when they waylaid them as they came up from Egypt. Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy all that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys’” (I Samuel 15:2-3, NIV.)
That sounds awfully severe to me! Still, in my experience, Christians find the severity of God difficult to accept. But God doesn’t act irrationally. Dr. James I. Packer comments on this:
“The root cause of our unhappiness seems to be a disquieting suspicion that ideas of wrath are in one way or another unworthy of God,” but he goes on to say, “God’s wrath in the Bible is never capricious, self-indulgent, irritable, morally ignoble thing that human anger so often is. It is, instead, a right and necessary moral reaction to objective moral evil. God is only angry where anger is called for” and “God’s wrath in the Bible is always judicial. That is, it is the wrath of the Judge” (Knowing God, J. I. Packer, pp. 150-151, c.1973.)
The scriptures tell us we should be happy when we face hardship and persecution:
“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience” (James 1:2-4, NKJV.)
Okay, but maybe patience is overrated. Telling me I should be joyful when I’m diagnosed with cancer, or I lose my job, or have a serious auto accident sounds a little looney. These things don’t feel good, and no amount of wishing will make the pain go away. So, what is James talking about? The writer of Hebrews explains:
“After all, your fight against sin has not yet meant the shedding of blood, and you have perhaps lost sight of that piece of advice which reminds you of our sonship in God: ‘My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by him; for whom the Lord loves he chastens, and scourges every son whom he receives.’ Bear what you have to bear as ‘chastening’—as God’s dealing with you as sons. No true son ever grows up uncorrected by his father. For if you had no experience of the correction which all sons have to bear you might well doubt the legitimacy of your sonship. After all, when we were children we had fathers who corrected us, and we respected them for it. Can we not much more readily submit to a heavenly Father’s discipline, and learn how to live? (Hebrews 12:5-9, PHILLIPS.)
If I may offer an analogy, I need to tell my Heavenly Father where I’m going before I set off on a bike ride. Just as I should have told my parents where I planned to go, I need to talk to God in prayer about life’s decisions, and when I don’t, He may choose to add a correction, hardship or trial to set me on the right path. He is sovereign over every detail of my life.
Jesus said, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavily burdened [by religious rituals that provide no peace], and I will give you rest [refreshing your souls with salvation]. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me [following Me as My disciple], for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest (renewal, blessed quiet) for your souls” (Matthew 11:28-29, AMP.)
My heart feels so full whenever I read this verse. Jesus spoke the truth boldly, and faced powerful people with unflinching strength, yet, He displayed a life filled with gentleness. The world despises gentleness and humility, but Jesus demonstrated the power of these qualities.
Sometimes I forego gentleness, when my spiritual tank is empty and I’m weak. Lysa Terkeurst, in her wonderful devotional book, Embraced, offers insight from her personal experience:
“I was doing a lot, pouring myself out for God, but not really spending time getting refilled by God. Maybe you can relate?” She continues, “All He asks is that we personally receive from Him before setting out to work for Him. In doing so we are fueled by His power and encouraged by His presence. This is the daily sacred exchange where ministry duty turns into pure delight.”
She adds, “How we must break His heart when we work like we don’t believe He’s capable. We say we trust Him but act like everything depends on us. We give all we have to the tasks at hand with only occasional leftovers of time to slightly acknowledge Him.”
Lysa continues, “Jesus doesn’t participate in the rat race. He’s into the slower rhythms of life like abiding, delighting, and dwelling—all words used to describe being with Him.” She adds, “So He extends what we need and invites us each day to receive in prayer, worship, and truth from His Word.” Lysa concludes, “This is an agenda that’s always completely satisfying” (Embraced: 100 Devotions to Know God Is Holding You Close, pp.19-21, ©2018.)
We can hope, and know joy in Him, because He is our Father. He doesn’t take His eye from us, and our trials remain under His sovereignty.
Mother Teresa said, “Be kind to each other. It is better to commit faults with gentleness than to work miracles with unkindness.”
I would offer gentleness to those I meet today, by the grace of the Holy Spirit. I don’t know their unseen struggles, and rather than pushing them to an alarming edge, I can be their first sign of hope.
Selah.